Pokamon sex-Childhood Ruined! Pokemon Sex Toys Exist

By the end of the year, the game had been downloaded over million times worldwide. Within 48 hours, servers were taken down to fix issues caused by player overload ; as my wonderful colleague Dave Thier reported in the weeks after , it was also subjected to alleged DDoS attacks. In May, the U. In the U. What is this anti-social behavior, you may ask?

Pokamon sex

Mark is on Twitter and wrote a book. Even the world's criminals resist using the xex serpents they carry around in their pockets to smash open Pokamon sex walls of banks and devour the security guards. And a murderous revenge fantasy! Reborn is ambitious and, to the credit of its creators, an impressive technical achievement. And thanks to Snakewoodwe now know what the zombie apocalypse would look like if it came to Pokemon. Privacy Policy Work With Us! Pictofact Pictofacts. Turns out if you have a dirty enough mind, anything feel Pokakon. Hey, Pokamon sex can even buy some human women from Team Rocket, who I guess are just slave traders now.

Ratings on bottom freezer refrigerators. If you've ever wanted to shove Pikachu up your butt, your time has come.

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Thanks for connecting! Connect to your existing Cracked account if you have one or create a new Cracked username. If Detective Pikachu isn't satisfying their need to take their old hobby in strange new directions, there are some some dedicated fans and creators out there eager to help.

It turns out there's a vibrant scene of fanmade Pokemon games that allow players to explore new regions, catch clever new monsters, and occasionally do sex crimes. As a family friendly franchise, Pokemon has long glossed over the fact that any kind of dispute would certainly go awry if one or both parties had immediate access to slavishly obedient dragons. Even the world's criminals resist using the foot-tall serpents they carry around in their pockets to smash open the walls of banks and devour the security guards.

But Pokemon Psychic Adventure boldly asks the question that the cowards at Nintendo will not: What if the player was the horrific asshole that Pokemon has long lacked? You're given a Drowzee, a psychic-type Pokemon that knows the moves Sleep and Hypnosis, and then, well It's still your goal to travel the world and become the greatest trainer in the land. It's just that you can also, upon defeating a gym leader, put them to sleep and molest them, or turn them into a hypnotized sex slave.

And there are no consequences. You can even level up your Pokemon to take your sexual assaults further, in a classic example of a gameplay loop. Incredibly repulsive premise aside, the game's pixelated nude sprites and "Holy shit, you're taking a girl's bra off, dude!

Psychic Adventure was created by an ostensible adult, but the sex scenes read like they were written by a teenager who insists that yes, he's totally had sex, and is in fact so awesome at it that the scene where you pleasure eight women at once was inspired by his real-life exploits. It's both a laughable and a worrying look into the fact that if we had Pokemon in reality, we would also need a whole host of specialized police units.

The creator of Pokemon Korosu is no exception, because they knew that a truly mature Pokemon game wouldn't merely have endless sex.

It would also have crime! And drugs! And a murderous revenge fantasy! You know, adult stuff! It's even, like all great Pokemon games, inspired by Kill Bill. And as a super mature story for smart adults, it starts with gangsters murdering the parents of the teenage heroine, kidnapping her, and selling her into sex slavery. Within three minutes of the title screen, you're about to be raped, but then a ghost Pokemon comes to your rescue and kills your slaver.

You travel from town to town and disrupt sex trafficking rings, meth labs, and vague criminal schemes. You execute many of the trainers you defeat, and the game is billed as having a body count "unprecedented in any Pokemon hack," which is apparently supposed to be a plus.

It's difficult, to put it mildly, to get emotionally invested in a story where what's supposed to be a scary biker gang rolls up and threatens to rape you, and to make good on this threat, they send adorable birds and caterpillars to battle the ghost you order around. Any "gritty" Pokemon crime drama should realistically end with a brutal criminal, frustrated over losing a fair and structured monster duel, whipping out a gun and shooting you in the face.

After you get done killing criminals by electrocuting them, setting them on fire, impaling them, cutting them apart, chopping their testicles off, and torturing them, society will magically be fixed!

Then other girls hit on you, because you're so hot and cool! And this intense drama is all unfolding in the bright and colorful world of Pokemon, a franchise where you beat the shit out of other people's pets with your own pets and all they can do is tell you how great you are for it.

Zombies have infested nearly every pop culture franchise, from Red Dead Redemption to freaking Archie. And thanks to Snakewood , we now know what the zombie apocalypse would look like if it came to Pokemon. That is, stupid. Very, very stupid.

Loot corpses! Contemplate the horror of a civilization in collapse! Tame adorable raccoons! It's nice of the zombies to engage you in a Pokemon battle before attempting to gnaw your skull open, but that also goes to show how awkward it is to force zombies into the Pokemon world. It's not inherently weird to make Pokemon scary. The games do have some dark moments and clever urban legends. Instead of making a single cohesive Pokemon horror game, they somehow made every Pokemon horror game at once.

By the time you've fought your th Pokemon that's a bird, but like, with blood and guts on it, the novelty has long worn off. By the time you're doing battle with Pestilence, the whole affair feels like a bizarre fever dream. Every encounter is like if Jason Vorhees busted down your door, threw your best friend's head at your feet, and then politely challenged you to a game of chess.

For some of those original fans I mentioned earlier, the games still serve as escapism, something fun to dabble in as a break from dreary adulthood. But others want to see a serious prestige drama aesthetic applied to the goofy Pokemon world. Which is how you end up with Pokemon Reborn , a game about collecting cartoon monsters that opens with terrorists blowing up a train. A suspect is immediately arrested, then tortured by the police with the aid of their Pokemon, because this is a serious world where serious things happen.

Reborn is ambitious and, to the credit of its creators, an impressive technical achievement. But it would also be an impressive technical achievement to edit Pikachu into the background of Blade Runner, and that wouldn't make it any less stupid to hear a cute yellow rabbit cry "Pika!

Reborn is set in a city called, uh, Reborn City, described by its creators as a place where "Black smog and acidic water garnish the crumbling structures along the skyline. City streets fest [sic] like alleys with disaster and crime. But the metropolis stands, a decaying blemish on the once-vibrant region. Then your rival immediately shows up to mock the suicide, which is the logical next step from the old rival catchphrase of "Smell ya later!

Climate change has devastated the planet, Pokemon are on the verge of extinction, and some have been genetically modified into weapons of mass destruction. There are doomsday cults, child abuse, drugs, prostitution, profanity, brainwashing, terminal illnesses, and evil doctors. Throughout all of this, you have to stop a bunch of evildoers from somehow making the dyspokeia worse with their plan to reshape the Universe by manipulating a PokeGod.

It's all very "serious," but serious in the sense of "True Art must be relentlessly bleak and dour, just like we think reality is literally all the time. We're dealing with climate change and terrorism now, and society continues to march on as people go about their day, doing good things to counteract the bad. Having everyone in a previously lighthearted fantasy world be either miserable or cruel is like writing a story about Dora the Explorer becoming a serial killer.

Yes, you've subverted expectations, but what exactly have you proved? Anyway, here's a an evil Magmortar throwing a Medicham into a volcano:. Moemon is identical to Pokemon FireRed save one subtle difference.

Can you spot it? Yes, this is a game in which all the Pokemon are anime girls. Many of them retain various monstrous traits, but don't worry, they all have tits! Here's a five-year, page forum discussion about its many nuances. So this is a game about capturing a collection of human women, and maybe occasionally letting them out of their magical prisons for a breath of fresh air. Take every joke you've ever heard about Pokemon being dogfighting, or slavery, or animal cruelty, and apply it to people.

Hey, you can even buy some human women from Team Rocket, who I guess are just slave traders now. At least they all keep their clothes on and the player can't do anything inappropriate to them Well, great. Then it's a lighthearted revision of Pokemon for people who want to have sex with quasi-sentient animals but don't want that to be too weird. The game is billed as cute and innocent and wholesome, and it's not like the people who are playing it actually intend to capture real women, if only because they lack the requisite upper body strength.

But the concept is just And to explain that, go ahead and imagine what the backlash would be like if a woman released a Pokemon game in which all the Pokemon were shirtless dudes with prominent crotch bulges and everyone talked about how cute they were to oppress. Meanwhile, people write things like "While commonly accepted by the fanbase as one of the sexiest Pokemon Mark is on Twitter and wrote a book. If you spend your days doing cool stuff, drop us a line at iDoCoolStuff at Cracked dot com, and maybe we can share your story with the entire internet.

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Pokamon sex

Pokamon sex

Pokamon sex

Pokamon sex. Nurse Joy's Special Treatment 4

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Geeky Sex Toys launches Pokemoan Pokemon sex toys including Squirty and Bulby | Metro News

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Pokamon sex

Pokamon sex

Pokamon sex