I know I am treading in some pretty deep waters here with stating that there are many reasons why men should not change diapers. This is not only hurtful, but it is largely inaccurate. It boils down to what works for your family, and the family dynamic you have set. I come from a very traditional family, dad went to work, mom stayed home and dad never changed a single diaper. Those family dynamics have rubbed off on me, as I choose to live my life that way.
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Yet all around the country, fathers are fighting for their right to change diapers.
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According to ABC7 , a new law going into effect this year will cause changes to New York's Uniform Building Code, requiring "all new or substantially renovated buildings with publicly accessible restrooms to provide safe and compliant changing tables. ABC7 is reporting that the progressive move was partly inspired by a viral photo from back in October.
In the photo, Donte Palmer is seen squatting in the bathroom, changing his baby's diaper on his lap, due to the lack of tables. After the photo went viral, Palmer started the SquatForChange movement to advocate for equal parenting rights. Palmer told the Washington Post , " We are active fathers But the issue has been circling around for a while now; back in , Ashton Kutcher posted a Facebook status that said, "There are NEVER diaper changing stations in mens public restrooms.
The first public men's room that I go into that has one gets a free shout out on my FB page! Type keyword s to search. Today's Top Stories. My Mother Stole My Identity. Image taken by Mayte Torres Getty Images.
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New Changing Table Law Acknowledges Men Are Parents Too
I know I am treading in some pretty deep waters here with stating that there are many reasons why men should not change diapers. This is not only hurtful, but it is largely inaccurate. It boils down to what works for your family, and the family dynamic you have set. I come from a very traditional family, dad went to work, mom stayed home and dad never changed a single diaper. Those family dynamics have rubbed off on me, as I choose to live my life that way. My husband goes to work all day, and I stay home.
He earns the money, I clean the house and cook dinners. He plays with our daughter and I change her diapers. I am sure some of you are scratching your heads and are just extremely curious as to why there are any reasons that a man should never change a diaper, and what they possibly could be.
Well, here are 15 reasons. A lot of men are uncomfortable around the icky parts of parenting. The vomit, the gas and the poopy diapers.
While, they are true in some respects. It takes two to bring a child into the world and to raise them, so it should take two to do all the necessary parenting jobs, but we can not define what someone finds uncomfortable and just tell them to get over it.
There are worse things in the world. Men, on the other hand, do not usually have as strong a stomach as us do. It is actually a compliment that we can do something that they could never handle. Hey, we get it, sometimes they are just too much to handle. This is one of the main reasons why my own father could never change my diaper.
He is known for many things, but a strong gag reflux is not one of them, at the sound of someone gagging he is over in the corner throwing up. I guess my mom thought it was just easier to change all the diapers instead of having to clean up two messes. I get it. For a lot of women, it seems like we just know what to do the moment our little one is born. We suddenly know how to perfectly change a diaper, get the bath water to the perfect temperature, and rock them perfectly to sleep.
Men, on the other hand, do not always have this innate nature. I love the men in my life who are all fathers, they are great dads, but sometimes they can be pretty clueless about things. I will give you an example, it was my daughters first birthday and I went ahead to the venue while my daughter was napping with my husband set to bring her after her nap. He just had to change her diaper and get her dressed and come.
Well, he arrived, and he whispered in my ear that I may want to make sure her diaper was on right. Well, I did and yup, it was on backwards! It was not a big deal, and I had a laugh and fixed it, but that could have been a potential blow out situation.
Babies are innocent, no matter the gender. It is actually pretty sad that men have this though. This can probably be blamed on the media for thinking that men and girls should be separate, even when it is father and daughter. That strong, dependable and handsome version of what a man thinks they should be. Again, this probably has to do with media telling men this is how they should be. Women are victims to this as well, with the universe telling us we should have babies, and be the one to do everything associated with said child.
Sadly, to some men it is, and they do not want to change a diaper out of fear for looking weak. It is another reason men should never change a diaper. Think about it, there are a lot of things to do when you have a baby, toddler or child. It really is not that important. What is important to me is them interacting and playing with their children and not whether they change a few diapers. Even if the things to do are not playing with their children, there are a lot of other things we could be getting them to do.
That would be great! A lot of men were raised in households that had attitudes and traditions that were very much 50 years ago. They watched their moms raise the babies and change the diapers and do the bath time, and their dad sitting on the couch, drinking a beer and watching the game. So, we can not blame them when they simply do not want to do these tasks, and we have to respect their idea of a traditional family, and what constitutes family dynamics.
So, if their idea of a family is one where the mom changes the diapers, then you will not change them and they should not have to change a diaper. This is one reason why it is so important to have certain conversations before you enter into marriage and baby-making. Knowing this kind of information and defining the family dynamics can stop any and all problems before they arise.
It is really no joke about how expensive diapers, wipes and all that butt cream is. They are probably one of the priciest things you purchase when you have a baby, and if you have your children close in age, it is a cost you are going to have for a quite a few years. We will always search for the sale, or for different coupons to try and save just a little bit of money.
An experienced mom can probably change a diaper in 30 seconds tops, there really should be competitions about it what do I know, maybe they do. For men, it takes a little longer for them to master the skill, and sometimes they just may never master it. We may ask our other half to change a diaper, and then wonder where they are 20 minutes later.
Yup, they are still changing the diaper. Of course, by this time, the baby has probably peed everywhere and goodness knows how many diapers he has gone through. So, for the sake of time, it may just be easier for mom to change the diaper. I really am thinking about all of you moms out there with this article.
Does anyone notice that when a man does something around the house for you. It can be any chore, emptying the dishwasher, cleaning a toilet, or even changing a diaper. They want a large celebration about it? They think they just did the best thing in the entire world and they deserve all the praise! This is why it may be easier for mom to just change the diaper, unless you want to praise the ground he walks on for changing a diaper.
So, save yourself the eternal praise! A lot of people who advocate strongly for men to change diapers defend their opinion on the basis that it is quality time for a dad and his child to bond. I am going to call a bit of their bluff on that one.
My family dynamic is that diaper changing is my territory, my husband will change a diaper if I am not around, but it is my job. I would never see changing a diaper as quality bonding time with my child. I am wiping her butt after all. Taking them out for a walk, to the park or for a special treat is bonding time. Snuggling on the couch reading a book or watching a TV show is bonding time. I would never say to my mom that I feel so connected to her because of all the times she wiped my bum!
The media and society has a large impact on how we think about the definition of a family. Even though we think progress is being made, there are still messages being sent that tell us that the woman should change the diaper and the men should not. Again, whatever works for the family and their defined roles are OK, but it can be hard for men to go out with their baby and be actually able to change the diaper.
If you do meet someone who says they are not scared of anything, I hate to break it to you; they are lying! Things that people find fearful is also subjective, no one can define what someone is scared of or tell them that they are right or wrong. Some men are literally just scared of changing diapers. They are scared of doing it wrong and they are scared of not cleaning their kid properly and leading to an infection or a rash.
This is OK, and if they are scared but want to learn then that is great and you can teach them. If they can not get past their fear, then you will just have to roll with them. You would never expect someone to make you hold a spider, or jump off a building if you were afraid. There are many reasons why men do not want to change diapers, and reasons why they should not change diapers, but it all comes down to one thing.
What has the family decided, have they had a conversation on what the expected roles are within the family? If you are part of the world where men are not expected to change a diaper and if that works for you and your family, then you should not change it to fit what society thinks a dad is.
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