One liners about sex-Funny Sex One-Liners

Home About. Subject: Sex. During sex I fantasize that I'm someone else. Richard Lewis. People Self Sex.

One liners about sex

One liners about sex

One liners about sex

A: He got behind in his work. Hey that's cute but can you breath through it? Q: What do you call a Muslim stripper? Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly? Q: How do you bring a man back from the dead? They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason. Home About.

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That's why I always make sure they don't remember What did the Indian say when the white man tied his penis in a knot? Communication Sex Speech. A scrotum pole! A microwave doesn't scream when you put a piece of meat in it. My wife suggested we should try some role reversal in bed so I told her I have a headache. Never argue with a women when she's tired, or Women boy sex clips free. Get 15 percent off Dashing Diva's adorable Halloween nails with this exclusive discount code. A One liners about sex machine. Ses Demaret. Money Sex. Did you know that there are The best way to hold a man is in your arms. Both capture the moment. What's the definition of eternity?

I like you for your personality.

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  • I wonder what my parents did to fight boredom before the internet.
  • I like you for your personality.
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There is just something so inspiring about sex columnist Carrie Bradshaw and her three best friends taking on life in New York City. One of my favorite things about Sex and the City is the humor. Through the characters' trials and errors of sex, marriage, boyfriends, and friendships, the characters always found a way to make light of their situations.

Here are 10 of my favorite quotes from Sex and the City: 1. Men don't marry up-the-butt girl. Whoever heard of Mrs. No, no, no. I can't. I want children and nice bedding, and I just can't handle this right now. Cover Image Credit: YouTube. At Eastern Michigan University. At Rutgers University. At Miami University. At University of Wisconsin Branch Schools. Facebook Comments. Welcome back. Sign in to comment to your favorite stories, participate in your community and interact with your friends.

Smarter Living. Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly. People Self Sex. Subject: Sex. The Love Shack. These Jokes are not suitabe to be viewed or listen by any unmatured person. God's punishment for enjoying sex.

One liners about sex

One liners about sex. humorous one-liners, quotations, expressions, proverbs & more

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Dirty One Liners - Dirty One Liner Jokes

Q: What is the difference between your wife and your job? A: After five years your job still sucks. Q: What do you call a man who cries while he pleasures himself?

A: A tearjerker. Q: Why are hurricanes normally named after women? A: When they come they're wild and wet, but when they go they take your house and car with them. Q: Why are Penises the lightest things in the world? A: Even thoughts can raise them. Q: What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A: A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again. Q: What's worse than waking up at a party and finding a penis drawn on your face? A: Finding out it was traced. Q: Why didn't the Toilet Paper cross the road?

A: It got stuck in a crack Q: What do you call an anorexic woman with a yeast infection? A: He forgot to wrap his Whopper! Q: What's the last thing Tickle Me Elmo receives before leaving the factory? A: Two Test-tickles Q: Do you know what 6. A: A good thing screwed up by a period. Q: What do a Rubik's cube and a penis have in common? Q: How do you make a pool table laugh? A: Tickle its balls. Q: What does a perverted frog say? A: Rubbit. Q: What do you call an IT teacher who touches up his students?

A: A Genealogist looks up your family tree, whereas a Gynecologist looks up your family bush. Q: What's green and smells like pork? A: Kermit the frog's finger Q: What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a puppy have in common? A: A wet nose. Q: What do you call an Italian hooker? A: A Pasta-tute Q: Who was the worlds first carpenter? A: Eve, because she made Adam's banana stand Q: Whats the difference between a hooker and a mosquito?

A: When you slap a mosquito, it stops sucking. Q: What's the process of applying for a job at Hooters? A: They just give you a bra and say "Here, fill this out. A: Dress her up as an alter boy. Q: What do electric trains and women's breasts have in common? Q: Whats long, hard and full of seamen? A: A submarine Q: Whats the best thing about dating homeless chicks?

A: You can drop them off anywhere. Q: What did the blind man say when he passed the fish market? A: Good morning ladies. Q: When do you kick a midget in the balls? A: When he is standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells nice Q: What do tofu and a dildo have in common? A: They are both meat substitutes! Q: What do you call a dictionary on drugs? A: Addictionary. Q: What is Moby Dick's dad's name?

A: She found another woman's lipstick on his knuckles Q: How do you tell the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer? A: By the taste. Q: How does a woman scare a gynecologist?

A: By becoming a ventriloquist! Q: How is pubic hair like parsley? A: You push it to the side before you start eating. Q: What do you call 2 guys fighting over a promiscuous woman?

A: Tug-of-whore. Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly? A: Kick his sister in the jaw. A: Getting off once isn't enough Q: How is a woman like a road? A: Both have manholes. Q: What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? A: Wiped his butt. Q: What does a 75 year old woman have between her breasts that a 25 year old doesn't? A: Her navel. Q: What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? A: I want you inside me! Q: What's the speed limit of sex? A: 68, at 69 you have to turn around.

Q: Why do vegetarians give good head? A: Because they are used to eating nuts! A: A guy will actually take time to search for a golf ball.

Q: What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say? A: Beat it. Q: What do you call a woman who is paralyzed from the waist down?

A: Married. Q: Why does it take million sperms to fertilize one egg? A: Because they won't stop to ask directions. Q: Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack?

A: He only comes once a year. A: There are 20 of them! A: You can unscrew a lightbulb. Q: What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? A: Getting down and dirty with your hoes. Q: How is a girlfriend like a laxative? A: They both irritate the crap out of you. Q: What do the Mafia and a vagina have in common?

A: One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit. Q: What do you call the useless piece of skin on a dick? A: The man.

A: Oral sex makes your day. Anal makes your hole weak. Q: How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips? Q: What did the sanitary napkin say to the fart? A: You are the wind beneath my wings. Q: Why can't you hear a psychologist using the bathroom?

A: Because the 'p' is silent! Q: What's better than roses on your piano? A: Tulips on your organ. Q: What's the difference between being hungry and being horny? A: Where you put the cucumber Q: What do you call a virgin on a water bed?

One liners about sex

One liners about sex

One liners about sex